What does the Bible say about holding grudges?

Understanding Leviticus 19:18

The Bible is direct about grudges: do not hold them. Leviticus 19:18 is one of the earliest and clearest statements, and the rest of Scripture reinforces it consistently.

The Old Testament foundation:

Leviticus 19:18 contains two prohibitions and one command:

1. 'You shall not take vengeance' — Do not repay evil for evil.
2. 'You shall not bear a grudge' — Do not hold onto the offense internally even if you do not act on it externally.
3. 'Love your neighbor as yourself' — Replace the grudge with active love.

The Hebrew word for 'bear a grudge' (natar) means to watch, to guard, to keep. It describes someone who preserves the memory of an offense like a treasure — polishing it, returning to it, refusing to let it go. God says: stop guarding that wound. Release it.

Notice that God prohibits both vengeance and grudges. You can refrain from retaliation while still harboring resentment. God addresses both the external action and the internal attitude. He wants the offense released completely — not just outwardly, but in the heart.

Jesus later called Leviticus 19:18b — 'love your neighbor as yourself' — the second greatest commandment (Matthew 22:39). The command to love replaces the impulse to grudge. You cannot simultaneously love someone and hold their offense against them.

What a grudge does:

The Bible identifies several ways grudges damage the person who holds them:

1. Grudges become roots of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns: 'See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.' A grudge is a seed. Left alone, it grows into bitterness — and bitterness does not stay contained. It 'defiles many,' spreading toxicity to other relationships, poisoning the grudge-holder's entire emotional and spiritual life.

2. Grudges block prayer. Mark 11:25: 'And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.' Unforgiveness creates a barrier between you and God. Not because God is punitive, but because a heart gripping a grudge cannot simultaneously open itself to receive grace.

3. Grudges give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27: 'Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.' Paul connects unresolved anger to spiritual vulnerability. A grudge is anger that has been preserved past its expiration date — and it becomes a point of entry for destructive spiritual influence.

4. Grudges distort your identity. When you define yourself by what someone did to you, you make the offender the author of your story. The Bible calls believers to define themselves by what God has done for them, not by what others have done to them. Holding a grudge is giving your offender ongoing power over your emotional state.

Jesus' teaching on grudges:

Jesus intensified the Old Testament prohibition. He did not merely say 'do not hold grudges' — He said love your enemies:

• Matthew 5:44: 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.' This is not passive tolerance. It is active goodwill toward the person who wronged you.

• Matthew 18:21-22: Peter asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' The number is not a ceiling — it is a way of saying 'there is no limit.' As long as offenses continue, forgiveness continues.

• Luke 6:37: 'Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.' Grudges are a form of ongoing judgment — a refusal to release someone from the verdict you have placed on them.

Paul's instructions:

Paul reinforced Jesus' teaching with practical commands:

• Romans 12:17-19: 'Do not repay anyone evil for evil... Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath.' Grudges are often fueled by the desire for justice. Paul says: leave justice to God. He will handle it better than you can.

• Romans 12:20-21: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.' The active antidote to a grudge is generosity toward the offender.

• Colossians 3:13: 'Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.' Again, the standard is God's forgiveness — which was total, costly, and undeserved.

The practical reality:

Releasing a grudge is one of the hardest things a human being can do. The Bible does not pretend otherwise. But it consistently teaches that the cost of holding a grudge is always higher than the cost of releasing it. Grudges consume energy, distort perspective, damage other relationships, hinder prayer, and keep you chained to the past.

Forgiveness does not mean the offense was acceptable. It does not mean you must trust the person again. It does not mean there are no consequences. It means you choose to stop carrying the debt — you hand it to God and walk free.